shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
