still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
