You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
