just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
