puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Come share oat with me in your robe
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize