He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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