i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
why does every cop we meet know your name?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
