THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
