I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
