when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
