She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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