GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
