Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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