Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
