If i come over, it means nothing
Michael Bay diarrhea
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
