i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
