Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize