So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
