I'm really into asian looking animals
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
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