One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
