Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i just google imaged poop.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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