I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
