That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize