it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
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