upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
