I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
