K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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