i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
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