I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
try to milk me bitch
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
