so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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