I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
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