i think i have herpe
just one?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
