God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
