So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
You took a bar mat shot.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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