Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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