he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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