he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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