Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
