Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
