did you get engaged???
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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