Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
