oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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