So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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