with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
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