evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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