Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
even my farts smell like vagina
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
