I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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