If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
