Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
