i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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