yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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