Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
