Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Bring me that man meat
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize