..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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