How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Randomize
