it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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