He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
